Dating in Your Teens vs. Your 20s

When I was a teenager, I thought love was supposed to feel like a full-blown Taylor Swift music video, all-consuming, heart-racing, “I’d die without you” kind of drama. At 11 years old, when I was diagnosed with arthritis, I was already carrying around this quiet little hope that love would somehow fix the parts of me that felt broken. I dreamed that if someone liked me enough, all the loneliness, all the pain, all the moments of feeling left out would magically melt away. Spoiler alert: life and love aren’t exactly like a fairy tale, but try telling teenage me that.

Back then, I thought love meant giving every last drop of myself to someone else, even if it drained me completely. I confused intensity with stability. I thought fireworks were mandatory, and if it wasn’t intense, dramatic, and slightly chaotic. It must not be real. I  was so focused on being chosen that I never stopped to ask the most important question: Did I even want the person standing in front of me? Or was I just desperate to feel wanted?

Now that I’m 20, Love looks… different. Better. Real. It’s not about the constant fireworks anymore; it’s about feeling safe enough just to be. It’s about someone who texts you to make sure you remembered to take your meds, who brings you your favourite drink after a long appointment, who sits beside you when your joints are flaring and your patience is thin.

It’s not just heart eyes and butterflies, it’s comfort, laughter, tiny check-ins, and growing into your fullest self with someone who cheers for your sparkle, not tries to dim it and here’s the thing, I’m single right now and that’s okay it’s pretty magical because, for the first time, I’m not sitting here thinking, “Please pick me.”

I’m thinking, “I can’t wait to pick each other.” I  know my person is out there somewhere, someone who sees the girl with the heating pad and the big, soft heart, and thinks, “That’s my girl.” Someone who won’t be scared off by bad days or the way I sometimes need a little extra love 

Until then,  I’m building a life that feels good with or without a plus-one. I’m learning to love myself in ways that 16-year-old me couldn’t even imagine. I’m embracing slow days, spontaneous laughter, messy kitchens, sleepy mornings, and solo adventures l because love isn’t supposed to be the thing that saves me. It’s supposed to be the thing that celebrates me. Dating in your teens is all about finding someone who makes your heart race.

Dating in your 20s is about finding someone who makes your heart rest, and honestly, that’s the kind of love story I’m excited to write.